New York City
saturday night - i met david fishkind inside of starbucks in washington square park. we hugged. we walked to his dorm room. we listened to lil' wayne. later, zachary german and tao lin came into david's dorm room. we talked quietly. we walked to 'lifethyme' and ate food. audun mortensen met us there. i laughed out loud, a lot, upon seeing him, i think because he was 'like, 100% asian and he had a mustache.' i tried to conceal my laughter, but 'only laughed more,' due to my attempts at concealing my laughter.
after purchasing a container with food in it and eating the food, i walked downstairs with the intention of re-filling the container with food, but not paying for the food. i walked back upstairs and i said that i was nervous. zachary said, "i hate you." i walked downstairs with david and i filled the container with food. i asked david to carry the container of food up the stairs.
later, i walked downstairs with tao to get desert. we watched a black man fill a basket with ~20 vegan desserts. we expressed concern. i felt genuinely 'disturbed,' i think, re 'how many pieces of cake, or whatever, he was placing into the basket.' tao and i watched him purchase the vegan desserts. tao said something like, "i thought he was an insane homeless man or something." i said, "yeah."
at some point, i dropped my fork on the ground and expressed concern re 'whether or not i should still use it.' david said something like, "it's just like, wood or something, i'd get a new one." zachary said something like, "i'll touch the ground and lick my finger if you want." zachary proceeded to touch the ground and lick his finger.
sunday night - i saw the play 'billy elliot' with my family.
monday night - i ate dinner at a small organic vegan restaurant with tao lin. tao expressed his aversion towards the restaurant multiple times. he said something like, "i don't like this place. i'm like, imagining myself ordering the food, and eating the food, and i don't like, enjoy any of it or something." we talked about literature and our ex girlfriends. i ordered a 'meatball' sub and a spinach salad. tao ordered a ceasar salad and a scone. while eating, we ordered a large bottle of organic beer. we did not get charged for the beer.
after dinner, we walked to 'think' coffee. i ordered a small black coffee and tao ordered a medium iced coffee with no ice. we sat. we stood up. tao 'chugged' his iced coffee in ~5 seconds.
when i was looking for a cab to go back to my hotel, tao pointed in two different directions, indicating that walking one way would be better than walking the other way. there was a miscommunication and i began walking in the opposite direction of the street he indicated was the better street to catch a cab on. he said, "no," and pointed the other direction. i laughed quietly and walked with him. he helped me catch a cab.
[above is an unedited excerpt of a gmail chat between tao lin and i. the post being referenced at the beginning of the chat was the 'short-lived' post on tao's blog about a party he went to. you can scroll to read the chat.]
sunday afternoon - i met miles ross at an organic cafe called 'earth matters.' i sat at a table on the upper level of the cafe while miles purchased two organic IPA beers. miles said that he was training a fat, balding employee at the television station where he worked. we laughed at a man who was staring industriously at his laptop / seemingly 'insane' on possibly 'more than one level.' miles walked downstairs and purchased another beer for us to share. we talked about zachary, tao, david, audun, and justin taylor's blog post re 'ewyfs.' something weird happened that had to do with the bathroom, but i forget what it was. i walked downstairs, after some discussion with miles re 'if they would i.d. me or not,' and i purchased one beer for us to share. after i walked back to were we were sitting, i said, "i kept trying to conceal a grin." he said, "when was i trying to conceal a grin?" miles was gmail chatting zachary on his droid. i was repeatedly referred to as 'castraham.'
when i 'flagged down a cab,' after much confusion as to which cabs had people in them and which cabs didn't, i told the cab driver the address of my hotel and he shook his head. he said, "no," and proceeded to drive away.
sunday night - while sharing a tall bottle of beer with david in a deli down the street from the hotel i was staying at, ~5 NYPD officers walked into the deli. they lingered, idly staring at food items and talking amongst themselves. some of them stood in line for the bathroom ~3 feet away from where david and i were sitting. we sat nervously trying to figure out what to do. my butt cheeks clenched. david said, 'should we leave.' i said, 'no.' we chugged the beer and threw it away. after much internal debate, i purchased a vegan sugar cookie.
later, david said, "i feel like we just survived something."
the last words he said to me were, "i'll see you... on the internet."
---
Party ft. Noah Cicero and Brittany Wallace
mallory and i arrived in kent at ~10:30 p.m. we drove to 'bottles' (a beer store) and i purchased one six-pack of wolaver's brand organic indian pale ale. we drove to brittany wallace's apartment. we were greeted by noah cicero 'announcing,' "JORDAN CASTRO." noah and brittany were sitting on a couch. candles were lit.
we exchanged hellos and spoke quietly. we talked about new york city. noah asked 'how zachary was,' and 'if he had yelled any profanities at random black people or not.' he talked about some people whose names i'd only seen briefly on the internet. i felt interested.
at some point, i said, 'did you guys smoke weed?'
brittany said, 'i do sometimes. he doesn't really. i got him to smoke once though.'
i said, 'damn... i mean.. or, i saw that on the table and.. noah looks like he smoked or something.'
i laughed a little bit.
they said they hadn't smoked.
more women arrived. the noise levels increased. things were said. 'sam dee' and 'sarah san' were there.
at some point, the females in the room spoke loudly of their 'initial encounters' re their dad's penises.
noah called himself 'the pull-out ninja,' re 'being 29 and never having got a girl pregnant.'
brittany said, 'are we acting like we're high?'
someone turned on a dvd that was a t.v. show that used to be on MTV. i opened the word document of my poetry on my laptop. i edited poetry. noah edited my poetry. i said, 'my poetry file sucks. i hate my life.' brittany and noah laughed. i said, 'my poetry file. i fucking hate myself.' brittany and noah laughed. noah said to mallory, 'is this what he is like all of the time?' noah indicated that he was 'having a telephone conversation' by placing his thumb against his ear and his pinky near his mouth. he said dramatically, 'mallory! my poetry file... it's so bad! i can't go on living like this. i've been staring at it for three hours! i've been opening it and closing it!'
mallory and i laughed extremely hard. i laughed extremely hard.
at some point, i brought my acoustic guitar into brittany's apartment. noah played metallica songs and (i think) guns 'n' roses. i played/sang ~1/2 of 'elephant gun' by beirut. noah continued to play the guitar. one of the women said, 'noah, the way you play guitar makes my pussy so wet.' noah continued to shred, and the woman proceeded to take her pants off and fist herself. she said, 'i probably shouldn't do this while i'm pregnant.' noah told me about people from youngstown university.
at some point, noah had me 'bring up' one of brandon's poems and one of tao's poems, using the internet. he told me about 'consonance' and 'dissonance' and 'alliteration.' we both seemed to feel affinity towards brandon's poetry book. i felt interested.
a gay male came to brittany's apartment for ~3-25 minutes.
at some point, brittany retrieved a kombucha from her refrigerator and brought it into the living room. things were said. many people tried/'smelled' kombucha for the first time in their lives. noah 'cringed' upon taking a sip, making a disgusted facial expression and shaking his head violently ~7 times in one consecutive 'shake.'
everybody continued to drink beer. things were said. i felt interested/excited.
'when all was said and done,' noah and brittany went upstairs to sleep. mallory and i slept on a pull-out couch in brittany's living room. mallory and i could hear noah and brittany having sex. noah seemed to be doing a good job. mallory and i interacted sexually. we fell asleep.
---
what i have been working on
- i have been writing poetry/short fiction on an almost daily basis. if anybody wants to solicit me for publication on their website, e-mail me (jordancastroisthepresident@gmail.com).
- i have written/am recording songs with my friend david d'amato. we are going to release a CD called, 'anti-american,' that should be completed within the next ~2-3 months.
- i have been working on a novel. going to pursue it with more interest over the summer.
---
smiled at least five different times while reading this
ReplyDeleteyou have a huge news section
you are working on a lot of things
good job
i mean you are dishing out a lot of stuff soon
ReplyDeletei felt like crying while reading this. crying and feeling good. i didn't cry, but i think i feel good.
ReplyDeleteFINALLY
ReplyDeletei like you, jordan. i hope we meet IRL some day.
ReplyDelete"LMAO" @ "need more safflower oil"
ReplyDeleteAfter reading Tao’s erasure-post of the same event described here—I think?—this entry seems too Tao Lin-y. No offence. Seriously. Much seriously. Not like he has a stranglehold on this sort of thing. But it’s just . . . yeah. For example: “noah 'cringed' upon taking a sip, making a disgusted facial expression and shaking his head violently ~7 times in one consecutive 'shake.'” Why is cringed in quotation marks? Why can’t Noah cringe without having his emotions wrapped up and suffocated? His cringe is dying a slow-painful-dragging-a-dead-deer-up-a-hill death. Also, the same goes for shake. Never forget: Up close quotation marks look like sperm. Try not to wrap your words in sperm-looking-like-things if possible. It’s getting to be “gimmicky” at this point. (See what I mean?) I mean this in earnest. I don’t mean to be too critical. Maybe I am just bored and tired. It’s just . . . yeah.
ReplyDeletewhat the fuck re: up close quotation marks look like sperm.
ReplyDeleteup close justin r morris' face looks like... nevermind..
i like reading your blog bro
@justin, u should learn about jordan's life brand before commenting on his blog 'in earnest'... he doesn't live in nyc, he wasn't at that party. just think you should just get your facts straight. 'no offence.' honestly not sure why i care. feel just like sort of bored and tired...
ReplyDelete@David: No offence taken. Jordan and I are both Ohioans. Apparently. Thanks for indirectly leading me to that knowledge. Anyway. According to Microsoft Works Word Processor: My entry was 150 words. The part of my entry which is inaccurate and exposes me as not-having-my-facts-straight comes to 13 words. 150-13 = 137. So there were 137 words which might count as being in earnest. Hence I am 91.333333333333333% in earnestness compared to the intended 100%. (I think.)
ReplyDeleteI am not criticizing his life brand. I don’t know what a life brand is. Just thought as a writer he might want some writerly-tips from a person that he doesn’t know and might not have anything of any real value to contribute.
i didn't read anything after you misspelled offense again...
ReplyDelete@David: I happen to be studying abroad in Canada. And I have gotten in the habit of spelling things the “Canadian” way. I am sorry about your faux pas. Feel free to read the rest of my post now. (See: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/offence)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletegood post.
ReplyDeletefeel a little embarrassed or something.
i think the lights are fixed now in the living room.
oh and i hope you kept noah's 'pull-out ninja' comment with you all night. there will be no teen conception in my house, buddy.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteYou have a nice blog. I just thought of mentioning about this website www.dustmitesallergies.org. They seem to offer specialized advice of dust mite allergy.
mallory, sweet
ReplyDeletedavid, sweet
richard, yes
stephen, sweet
justin, damn, where in ohio do you live, sweet
david (again), lol...
brittany, thank you / damn / 'promise' no conception will take place
camilynn, thank you / sweet
[an 'in depth' answer to justin's questions/concerns]
ReplyDeletethis is a different event being described
i chose to place quotation marks around the words 'cringe' and 'shake,' for various reasons, the main reason being to create, for me at least, a comfortable detachment between myself saying the words i'm saying, and the words themselves (for various reasons, ranging from the word choice being 'totally gay,' or 'at least gay enough to need to feel detached from').
i often quote words in an attempt to illustrate, to some degree, some sense of sarcasm re the words i am using, the way i am saying something, or what i am saying.
re 'wrapped up and suffocated,' damn
re 'his cringe [something re deer],' that's not... happening... idk...
re 'sperm thingy,' jesus / "did you ever think that by implying that sperm is a bad thing, you are perpetuating oppressive ideologies re sperm (which is naturally occuring and life-affirming) and the way it looks? sperm is maybe, probably, not factually, but probably, i feel, one of the (if not the most) life-affirming things 'out there.' by denouncing/degrading sperm as something undesirable, you are therefore, possibly, i think, 'by nature of what you are stating implicityly,' sending a message of 'anti-life,' or [something re life being undesirable]. and if our words are not to represent life, or reflect/'look like' life, then what are our words supposed to represent/reflect/'look like?'
you seem to be genuinely good, however, or something, as opposed to someone who is 'just a shit-talking fag,' (http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/jcastro/2010/02/shit-talking-a-comprehensive-analysis)
'peace...'
Dear David Fishkind,
ReplyDeleteI thought you didn't believe in 'life brands'.
Justin R. Morris is entitled to criticize whatever writing he damn pleases, so long as his arguments are within good reason, which they are. He spelled 'offence' in the Canadian format, so who needs to get their facts straight now? He's giving Jordan literary advice, not berating him like a condescending Tao-supremacist. The indication that someone is sharing their thoughts without intended offense isn't always sarcastic. Justin sounds sincere. Everybody back off.
<3 u Jordan Castro, good post bro
I like your writing, even if it is super trendy and imitable
@Jordan: I appreciate your response. Especially since replying to your reply allows me do something instead of writing other stuff that is boring.
ReplyDelete*Prefatory remark to disengage people and make them feel less negativity/hostility toward me: I do not believe that I am handing down objective truths to Jordan. More still, I do not believe in the ontological gap between “subject” and “object” after reading the phenomenologically-informed works by Husserl and Heidegger. Thank you.*
About me: I am from Columbus, OH. But I like Canada (writ large) better. However, Columbus is the self-proclaimed “Indie Art Capital of the World.” (See: http://www.walkerevanseffect.com/blog/columbus-is-officially-the-indie-art-capital-of-the-world/). I like this very much about Columbus.
About your writing: I stick by my original critique of your use of quotation marks. I believe that when you create a “comfortable detachment” between what you write and the words that you are writing that this is problematic. If you feel the need to detach yourself from your written words—which, by reading your response, you seem to feel the need to quite a bit—then you might reconsider your word-choice so that you feel more comfortable around your words. It seems to me that you are trying to get above your words by being sarcastic and ironic toward them. I do not think that your words appreciate this. Your words deserve better. If you treated your words with more respect I believe that you and your words would find that you have a lot in common and could even consume vegan foodstuffs together. Also, when you put quotation marks around something like “totally gay” I do not think that you can—by utilizing this strategy—ever hope to effectively create enough distance from those words. And I think, despite the intended-distancing-effect, even writing “totally gay” at all makes you look . . . well . . . yeah. (Note: I don’t think Tao Lin could pull this off, either.)
About sperm: I think it was original of me to note that magnified quotation marks look like sperm. (See: http://www.blogcdn.com/www.walletpop.com/media/2008/07/quotes1.jpg). And I did not intend for you to take this observation so-seriously and point out how it might be life-destructive. Instead, I was offering a meta-critique within my critique. (Don’t feel alienated by the word: “meta-critique.”) That is, I was displaying what I think was some hint of originality in my writing which gave me a unique voice. Saying what I said the way I said it, I believe, is Justin R. Morris-y. Reading what you wrote made me think it was Tao Lin-y. I was trying to be postmodern and make a point by not directly making it. I think I failed miserably at this.
About your “shit-talking” link: I really like your line about me seeming to be “genuinely good.” All anyone can ever do in life is seem to be genuinely good. Anyway. I read most of the article. I agreed with some of what you said. I agreed with some of what was being said about you by other people. Although they seemed unduly negative and hateful toward you. Of course, by giving a comprehensive analysis of shit-talking it seems to me that you are striving for the very same normative-power that you are decrying. But someone already pointed that out in the comments section of that article. So I won’t say much more about that.
Lastly, by putting quotation marks around the words “shit-talking fag” I think, again, there can never be enough distance between you and those words. But I get what you’re getting at. I just don’t think it works. But I could be wrong. I am wrong a lot even when I try to be right. Sometimes it is embarrassing. I hope I don’t feel embarrassed. I really hope I don’t feel embarrassed. Also, I hope you don't feel embarrassed.
P.S. I don’t mind if David Fishkind feels embarrassed. I think it might help him grow and accept Canadian English which has its roots in British English.
damn re 'what my words deserve'
ReplyDeletefeel pretty confused re how you view words re concrete reality vs abstract ideas
feel like... i was kidding re sperm thing...
damn re 'not enough distance...'
feel like saying "gay" is just... really funny, idk...
just tryina bust fat nuts / document what happens to me, via how i percieve it, i guess...
feel like saying "gay" perpetuates things abstractly, but not concretely, unless one confuses/diliberately chooses to 'fuse' concrete reality with absractions, in which case, i guess, it could be harmful...
feel like i have 'a lifetime of [something]' behind the word "gay" that makes it seem, to me, and to people who 'know me,' okay to say it, or think it, or something and like it is 'just' funny, or something...
feel like i'm revealing too much [something] about myself
not going to write any more comments like this...
feels insane / 'like i am just making myself seem "dumb" due to my inability to articulate things in a manner that someone foreign to me or [something re me] could "possibly understand"'
may or may not write an essay about 'the word gay' and/or 'the use of quotation marks in writing'
'h8' my life / 'how did my life come to this...'
writing long comments into my blog that may or may not 'make people like me'
'h8' 'my' 'fucking' 'life'
'jk, idk...'
Jordan, I really enjoyed this post. I found this blog thru Tao Lin's newfeed and I must admit, although the style renders similar to Tao's style, I find what I have read on your blog to be extremely funny & insightful.
ReplyDeleteAs far as you're discussion with Justin is going, I think you both have points. But I just wish you would articulate what you mean more, lol. I mean, come on, lol.
Funny things in this post. Hope more fun is to come!
Sup yall.
ReplyDeleteFeel like reading this post evoked 'a multitude of emotions within me'. I put scare quotes around that phrase because I don't want to sound like I take myself seriously using words like 'multitude' in a casual blog post comment. I feel like that's the fate of most of us scare quote addicts. The quotes indicate an elevated sense of awareness, as in "I'm aware of the fact that using this word makes me sound like a ___". For example, I might want to describe a situation as being 'gay as hell', however saying that without scare quotes might give off the impression that I use such a phrase regularly and don't understand that I'm coming across as a total doucherama.
Though Jordan specifically claims that his scare quotes are used as a mechanism in detaching himself from his words and phrases, they are, in reality, emphasizing his 'organic humanity'. The quotes are a silent acknowledgement that he doesn't want to make himself vulnerable to criticism of his word choice. He is detached from seriousness, but 100% attached to logical human desires.
Anyway, the actual content of the post is what made me feel emotionally stimulated. I felt envious that you got to meet with a lot of 'chill people', but simultaneously a little annoyed with the unabashed name-dropping. At any rate, I've heard that I'm a name-dropper myself so I'm not going to call you out on it. I would undoubtedly do the same thing you did (construct a well-written blog post about your experience) if I had been able to travel to the city and meet with several of my literary muses. I felt happy that you've been able to establish yourself as a fixture in the greater 'scare-quote-friendly writing community'. I sometimes refer to these people as 'muumuu housers', but understandably, not all of them have been published by said company.
Good discussion. Loved the vulnerability, angst, and confusion expressed by Jordan in his 8:46 comment. So real...
<3 Bebe Zeva aka The Zave
i agree with jordan re: sperm or sperm-like words or whatever being life-affirming and pro-life. that being said, i am pro-choice yall, re: you know, actual unwanted pregnancies ("disparate parts" of thread coming together there (coming together, damn, fuck... haha..wait....damn)).... :)
ReplyDeletejust want my sperm to stay relevant...
ReplyDeleteyours is always relevant, david, it's the fishkind (hate myself....)
ReplyDeleteomg stephen, hehe
ReplyDeleteliked that one way better than 'coming together'
idk maybe my mood just changed. but giggled out loud about the fish kind of sperm, idk, idk...sorry...just want to validate everyone at once
ReplyDeletegood job everyone
hey victoria, u get my email? while back?
ReplyDeleteJordan.
ReplyDeleteOf all the people writing in this kind of "style" you are my favorite. Not really sure why. It could be because you are my age (you are 17 right?) It could be because you are real good. I don't know.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePrefatory remark to stave off hateful remarks about my face or sperm (again): This is my last sustained/long/thought-out response:
ReplyDelete@Jordan:
About concrete reality vs. abstract ideas: I do not necessarily believe that they need to be categorized into ontologically separate realms. Anyway. To justify this position I would have to talk about hermeneutical philosophy vis-Ã -vis Heidegger’s pragmatic-ontological interpretation of Dasein’s factical life. (Currently working on such a paper.) This would inevitably lead to an esoteric discussion about phenomenology. And it would expose me as someone who is currently preparing for a Master’s in philosophy. This is true. But it is alienating. (It might seem pretentious or whatever.) So I won’t go into it.
About gayness: What struck me in a negative way was your initial reply where you describe some words as being “gay enough to need to feel detached from.” There is nothing ironic or satirical about your use of the word “gay” in this context and you seem to be comfortable using the word “gay” as being synonymous for “stupid” or “unhip” etc. I don’t think this is a good move on your part. It seems homophobic. I doubt you are homophobic. But even saying this or that is “gay” seems so ancient and outdated and high school’ish to me that I feel very old reading stuff like that. I don’t like feeling old when I read stuff. It made me feel old and even wizened.
@Bebe: I appreciate your input. However, my contention is that by using quotes to indicate—quoting you—that “I’m aware of the fact that using this word makes me sound like a___” means that you might want to reconsider using that word at all. If I read or hear anyone saying such-and-such is “gay as hell” I would immediately feel like someone had just farted in my mouth and pinched my nose while putting a hand over my mouth. And I would feel this fart affect my neural circuitry in such a way that makes me feel bad about myself and the world. I feel that I could never be good friends with such a person. I feel like they have forever alienated me from their world. In short, it makes me depressed to see those words (even when they are wrapped in quotation marks).
About your interpretation of Jordan’s “organic humanity”: You claim that the quotation marks indicate a “silent acknowledgment” that he does not want to make himself “vulnerable to criticism” for his choice of words. But that brings me back to my original point: Why should he feel vulnerable about using words like “cringe” or “shake”? I don’t get it. It seems like a superfluous use of quotation marks to me. Hence my comment that it is getting “gimmicky” because it is being so played out. The intended effect is being nullified by the constant use of quotation marks around otherwise banal words.
*Morale-boosting/life-affirming concluding remarks:*
I think that this whole detachment-thing/strategy just means that you lack conviction in your writing. Lacking conviction, I think, isn’t all that great. We should all live with the haunting fear that people that are hipper than us are laughing at us. I am always afraid of people that are hipper than I am (everyone) and that they will laugh at me and my writing. I pretty much expect it. Such fear is a good thing. We should get laughed at. We should feel vulnerable. We should feel significant emotional pain and scarring when someone says something awful about our writing, e.g., “your writing is bad and prompts me to write bad things about your writing.” We should be depressed about it. And, at the same time, we should let all of these reactions/emotions inform our writing. I guess that’s what I’ve been trying to get at the whole time. I’m not so sure that detachment is an effective vehicle for this sort of thing. That’s all.
jesus christ what is goin' on here
ReplyDeletejordan is very homophobic..
ReplyDelete'just wish it could all be over'
ReplyDeletedoyouwanttohangoutinnortheastohiothissummer?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletequoting brandon re scare quotes:
ReplyDelete"I started using scare quotes after I read Tao Lin. I feel okay about them. I feel kind of stupid about them. I feel like I get judged negatively for using them. Sometimes when I see something I wrote that has like a million things scare-quoted I feel really embarrassed about myself and like, decisions I made in the past. I don’t want to use scare quotes anymore but can’t seem to ‘help myself.’ ‘See,’ ‘I keep doing it.’"
think that most of us would agree with BSG.
really like/agree with what bebe said re 'elevated sense of awareness' (via scare quotes). seems like i use them in this sense quite often, like if i say something like "'yo'" or "'peace'" or "'normal'." words that i normally wouldn't actually walk around saying, words that may not actually 'believe', words that are relative (as opposed to absolute), or words that are 'huge' exaggerations.
feel kind of worried about grammar, re scare quotes on the last word/words of a sentence. before commas too. think that you're supposed to put the closing scare quote after the period to be 'grammatically correct', as with 'regular' quotes. but seems like most of 'us' close them before the punctuation. i think it looks better that way.
re "gay," i usually don't use that word unless i'm referring to an actual 'gay' person.
want to make a 'journey' to new york in the near future.
like you writing bro.
bros
ReplyDeletejustin,
ReplyDeletefeel like the last paragraph of your 'concluding remarks' explains a lot about the basis for your comments and analysis of this post (or at least your assessment of the 'surface-level' of this post - the style).
you seem to believe (based on, without having counted, i think, the majority of the sentences in your last paragraph) that life, 'everyone's life,' "should" consist or not consist of certain things (e.g. - "We should feel significant emotional pain and scarring when someone says something awful about our writing..."), and that my 'way of life,' due to my unwillingness or lack of desire to think/feel/do what i "should" think/feel/do, to some degree, is 'wrong.'
life, i feel, does not inherently consist of "should" or "should not" (without an arbitrarily defined conext and set of assumptions).
so, 'therefore,' i feel that, although the ('once again, surface-level') literary devices you have employed in your comments (metaphors, similies, repetition...) 'sound good,' and 'illustrate [something],' to some degree, in some people's minds, i feel like your 'points' are 'nonetheless' rooted in the arbitrary abstract concept of "should."
re sperm / gay - i was 'just' being sarcastic / don't really care... i 'even' recall 'noting,' aloud, to mallory whitten, in physical reality, that i 'wrote a funny gigantic response comment and like, analyzed someone's use of [something re sperm], while saying "gay" a relatively large amount of times throughout the comment.'
once again, 'all i was trying to do with this post,' was to document things, for mainly personal reasons, in a manner that felt satisfying to me.
re 'conviction' - i seem to possess 'little to no' levels of unsarcastic conviction within me. seems a lot more satisfying, to me, generally, than 'believing wholeheartedly / having conviction' re [something arbitrary and subjective]. not because anyone "hipper than me" will "emotionally scar" me via critique, but because i am unsure and feel no desire to 'delude myself' into feeling sure of that which no objectively true 'sureness' can be derived.
'is this ever going to end'
have to go to work now... haven't checked for typos or anything...
"bad boy bitch": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz-3NqcpxgU&feature=related
ReplyDeleteanonybro, thank you / damn
ReplyDeletebebe, sweet comment
stephen, lol... / damn
victoria, sweet
kyle, thank you
brittany, i don't know...
mallory, hehe...
andrew, seems yes
jake, sweet / thank you
tao, hehe...
Jordan, are you Gay? Can you even comprehend Gay?
ReplyDeleteObviously Not.
@Anonymous: fuck off
ReplyDelete(wuz going to put meatspin on here, then thought, "is that illegal, given minors? damn...")
Hey Jordan,
ReplyDeleteI was going to use multisyllabic words and make a complicated argument vis-Ã -vis Heidegger and how “subject” and “object” do not “coincide with Dasein and the world”* and show that your denial of “objectively true sureness” ironically presupposes bankrupt metaphysical notions vis-Ã -vis Derrida’s “metaphyics of presence”** thereby effectively questioning your reliance on such-and-such being “arbitrary and subjective” when the aforementioned ontological gap between the two has dissolved via a phenomenologically-hermeneutically inclined project. I thought about doing that. Then I started typing it. And I felt a crushing sense of depression about it. So I stopped typing it up and chose to look for “organic wheatgrass”*** online instead.
* Martin Heidegger, Being and Time, tr. John Macquarrie & Edward Robinson (New York: Harper & Row, 1962), p. 87.
**Cf. James K.A. Smith’s Jacques Derrida: Live Theory (New York: Continuum, 2005), p. 31.
*** http://www.google.ca/#hl=en&q=I+feel+depressed+and+want+to+drink+organic+wheatgrass+instead&meta=&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=I+feel+depressed+and+want+to+drink+organic+wheatgrass+instead&gs_rfai=&fp=48baec447969b563
this thread has killed me. goodbye world
ReplyDeleteJRM, u r 'mad smart' or something. couldn't u harsh every1's buzz somewhere else? i'm sure u could find a much more receptive audience elsewhere, that would like, give even half-a-fraction of a fuck about w/e u r going on about here. just trying to be helpful, dude, no snark. seriously, u r smart, no one cares, what's the point?
ReplyDeletei 'was' you, or 'like' u at one point, JRM, occasionally still am (probably not quite as lame, but close). it's like, a mad unattractive personality trait to trumpet your smarts everywhere especially on a lovely young man's blog from ohio just tryin' to have fun and write some poems and shit. what would your mother say or something? (sry if like ur mom is dead, that would make this sad. hope ur mom is 'OK' bro) experiment with the whole love people, love life, take things less seriously/more seriously 'at the same time' (brain explodes) type deal, bro. might enjoy it.
ReplyDeletewhy does zachary hate you??
ReplyDeletei wish you didn't bog
anonybro, damn
ReplyDeletejustin, organic wheatgrass, sweet
stephen, damn
sam, is that... you
The internet is an insane place.
ReplyDeletei didn't write that. now i am standing in an alley, and it's raining and i am looking skyward and screaming, "why is this happening."
ReplyDelete@Stephen: Here’s the quote problem unquote. When people attempt to justify their position re: writing Tao Lin-y they will use words like: “arbitrary” and “objective” and “subjective” and, sometimes, “relativism” or “cultural relativism,” etc. That said, I am sad to see no one develop a quote serious unquote position for this type of writing. I thought maybe Jordan had a more quote serious unquote position to support his decision to write the way he does. And I was sad and depressed to see him take the easy way out and use words like “arbitrary,” “abstract concept,” etc. Something quote arbitrary unquote like whether or not someone likes your writing can have a quote real serious unquote effect on your life and the quote direction unquote it takes.
ReplyDeleteAbout my lameness: I concur. I am lame. (Using words like "concur" makes this much obvious.) And I am glad that you could use me as a reference point for your lameness seeing that you were like me at one point in your life but have since advanced beyond that stage and now you are above and beyond this type of thing. I think that your friends and family would be proud to see you give advice to other people and take a moral high-ground where there is supposedly no quote ground unquote to begin with. I am serious about this and I am glad that you have at least established a moral ground where there were only ephemeral abstractions before.
About this blog: I do not know Jordan. But I like this blog. Also, this is a blog with a comments section. I provided comments. I did not intend to quote trumpet my smarts unquote. I rarely ever post anything-anywhere. I have read several serious books by several serious men [+women] and have had several serious conversations with several serious people (some with serious facial hair). From these serious endeavours I have come to form some serious thoughts of my own. And I thought these quote serious unquote thoughts might be useful here. According to you, they are not. I am fine with that. Maybe one day I will write something that you might like and when you see my name you will think to yourself: “That guy is alright.”
About everything else: If Jordan feels I have negatively impacted his blog in a way that does not fit in with the narrative here then he can feel free to delete everything that I have written and I will not post here again in the future. I appreciated his (et al.) responses nonetheless. Thanks.
P.S. My mother is not exactly happy with her life but she is O.K. at the moment. I think she misses me.
um...happy ending? definitely had a "big brotherly advice" moment there. sry broz/ladies. don't think jordan "needs" to justify anything. it's only out there in the "big bad 'real' world" that people with very serious facial expressions start demanding that you justify yourself and start making things up and acting confused/"weirded out" if you don't conform to their world view + expectations. here seems to be a free place. everyone's free in their mind until they decide not to be, right? you have control over how you view things [via DFW-bro; via "yo, this water is water"]. hope u r OK, JRM-bro. thx 4 opening up + gettin' raw & emotional
ReplyDelete1 last thing, re: writing like Tao, being inspired, bitin' ppl's stylez, bein' "such an unoriginal fucking fuckhead, jesusgod!":
ReplyDelete[via Weezy F Baby (free weezy yall)]:
"'Cause u could live thru anything if Magic made it/And that was called recycling/Or re-citing something 'cause u just like it, so u say it just like it/Some say it's biting, but I say it's enlightening/Besides Dr. Kanye West is one of the brightest."
What I mean is, it's all love, JRM.
justin, damn re "serious" / thank you re liking my blog
ReplyDeletestephen, free weezy...
"i would fuck with all a y'all, all a y'all are beautiful"
ReplyDelete-lil wayne
life...
ReplyDeleteis this a classifiable 'shitstorm' yet?
ReplyDeletemy penis has fallen off. it is lying in my hand. my corpse hand. i am willing an inferius to do the bidding of this typing. feel too depressed to even post this. jesus... will i do it...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djvfiqRfnCw&playnext_from=TL&videos=omaJOiCYF14 - video of me with miles ross
ReplyDeletere: video by miles ross: seems sweet
ReplyDeletei actually appreciate JRM's earlier comments, a little; i, too, feel like jordan's use of 'gay' in quotes is questionable or something; to me, it doesn't feel like enough distance, like it still might be offensive to people who are gay
ReplyDeletebut i might just be insecure or something, about making sure i am not homophobic, which is a personal bias, i think, not something i can really use to criticize jordan
also, writers can be ironic without using scare quotes. my favorite comment on this post was tao's. it seems more subtle than all the comments with scare quotes, and funnier because of it
i think it is more detached because it doesnt really indicate whether or not it's intended to be ironic
Jordan I love you bro.
ReplyDeleteThe reason you use scare quotes, and I don't know they are called 'scare quotes' is because you are using a word with a unique definition or a non public definition. What I mean by 'public definition' (See, I wanted the reader to notice my strange phrase and that they the reader should take that phrase differently than say reading it in a magazine. I want the reader to think about that phrase.) Language is like a public business, we go to the public language and get our words. But sometimes the words we want to use and the way we want to use them is slightly different than the public language (I probably could if this thing let me put 'public language' into italics.) Well, sometimes we use a word that comes from the public language but has a slightly different meaning and we the reader to notice that.
I don't if "disturbed" warrants scared quotes in i felt genuinely 'disturbed,'. Unless you feel that disturbed has a different definition than the public one commonly used.
But in Castro's defence, a reader could read the line, "i felt genuinely 'disturbed,'" and think, "Oh, I wonder what Jordan Castro means by disturbed, let me think about it." And it is 'entertaining.' The scares quotes are kind of a nice gimmick but at the same time it provokes a little thought concerning the text.
I think what Jordan did was attempt to make an entertaining text for people to read and enjoy and he likes to put little things in it to make it more entertaining, that's all.
i have been resurrected by noah cicero's comment. i live...
ReplyDeleteprops @noah
ReplyDelete@Noah: I agree with what you’ve said. It is interesting, though, that when people like yourself speak for Jordan nobody seems to see the irony(?) of Jordan’s earlier remarks when he was addressing my critique; he says, “i feel like your 'points' are 'nonetheless' rooted in the arbitrary abstract concept of ‘should.’" And if we are to be consistent we might have to apply the same logic to Noah’s use of the word “you”—and we would be forced to say something like: “I feel like your 'points' are rooted in the abstract concept of 'you.'" That is, Noah seems to subscribe to the notion that he has the normative-power to speak for Jordan. (Or at least his writing methods). As a result, Noah is applying an “oughtness” to what Jordan is saying. More clearly, Noah is saying that we should read Jordan's use of quotation marks in a particular way. I think that this is legitimate and understandable.
ReplyDeleteYet this strategy (one which I employed) has been established as problematic earlier. Once again, I defer to Jordan’s own words here: “life, i feel, does not inherently consist of ‘should’ or ‘should not’ (without an arbitrarily defined conext and set of assumptions).” Noah seems to be trying to define the context and the set of assumptions at work here, but by doing so he is going against the main thrust of Jordan’s initial claim(s). Claims which I think are too slanted toward a sort of linguistic relativism. But because I am outside of Jordan’s circle, I am painted as shitting on his blog or doing something intellectually snobbish. I think that this is slightly unfair and inconsistent. That’s all.
Dammit, J-bro! You killed Fishkind again...
ReplyDeletesemi-bro.
ReplyDeletebrittany, i just can't pick one so you can never say i'm choosy hoes...
ReplyDeletebebe, damn...
andrew, seems like 'it has to be,' in my view; however, feel unsure re if others consider this to be one.
stephen, sweet / damn / damn...
steve, damn
noah, <3
david, hehe
justin, dude
glen, interesting
oh! yes yes. language as a tool we use. i take the wrench and hit you over the head with it and you try to say that i can't use a wrench like that, but then you have died.
ReplyDeletesingle quotes in my view are of this sentiment: when we can't find the right words, or think the word is better shown in its state of differance, in its playfulness of meanings.
and a quote only slightly out of context:
"we do not need to prove anything here. all proof is always only a subsequent undertaking on the basis of presuppositions. anything at all can be proved, depending only on what presuppositions are made."
-martin heidegger from the essay "poetically man dwells"
wehrenberg jr. seems to be an efficient, deadly assassin.
ReplyDeletegrinning...
ReplyDeletelistening to a song by richard now / on repeat...
"let not my anodyne be to flee-eee-eeee"
www.thinktankforhumanbeingsingeneral.tumblr.com for more of this classic wehrenberg wisdom...
just read this.
ReplyDeletei'm sitting on the couch you potentially fooled around on,
kinda laughed to myself for a second.
also.....you forgot to add that noah played wonderwall,
if you haven't heard that song, you should listen to it at least once.
it was popular a long time ago. i think people still like it. i don't know. it's weird.
see ya.
you know the 'gay male's' name is aaron.
feel free to refer to him by his name.
i don't think he would mind.
are you sure you're not jason castro from american idol
ReplyDeleteseems 'legit as eff'
ReplyDeletewhat the fuck. this shit actually happened. my comments are obviously the best/funniest. FUCK ALL YALL.
ReplyDeleteseems like u go to nyc a lot
ReplyDelete